Kanji, how I loathe thee!

Events of the last few weeks have led me to give some consideration to Japanese Kanji, and its moraic sidekicks, Katakana and Hiragana. For what it's worth: here's my dystopic theory of the Japanese writing systems.
 
The purpose of Kanji is: 

• (i) to prevent (almost) anyone who has not been through six years of elementary education from learning the language, by blocking all feedback from written signs and messages; 
• (ii) to waste children's time by focusing their attention on the brushstrokes of arbitrary symbols , when they could be learning content; 
• (iii) to cause untold domestic and other friction between those who have already learned a few kanji, and those who are just starting out...

The contrasting purpose of katakana is: 

• (i) to stymie the best efforts of Japanese speakers trying to learn English, by neutralizing crucial distinctions (not just light/right but also lunch/ranch), inserting superfluous syllables, and generating atrocious puns; 
• (ii) to offend against the (a)esthetic sensibilities of almost everyone (except, perhaps, those who liked thin, angular cars like the Triumph TR7, or late-70s Ford Escort).

And then there's hiragana, whose purpose is much less clear, unless it be:

• (i) to teach Japanese linguistics students about functional categories; 
• (ii) indicate at a distance where one can buy cigarettes (by a curious quirk of history *tobacco* is invariably written in hiragana, rather than the expected katakana.) 

These would seem to be rather petty uses for a perfectly serviceable, almost attractive syllabary.
End of rant. 

Which is not to pretend that English orthography is perfect. Vietnamese is nice, though.